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1. #ITCH.IO LAST MAN SITTING HOW TO#
2. #ITCH.IO LAST MAN SITTING FULL#
3. #ITCH.IO LAST MAN SITTING PROFESSIONAL#
4. #ITCH.IO LAST MAN SITTING SIMULATOR#
5. #ITCH.IO LAST MAN SITTING FREE#

So the first and most important question: is this horror game going to actually scare me, or just do the usual knockoff horror shit of making weird faces suddenly appear and go BOO and then giggle like a nine year old catching you out with the whoopie cushion. Well, I say “assist,” it’s more like “do all the bloody work while they sit around playing Doodle Jump.” You’re trained in the lengthy checklist of tasks required to embalm a body, and then right after the contract’s signed and your first night shift starts and you can no longer get the refund on your hilarious “Crack open a cold one with the boys” T-shirt the mortician rings up and goes “Oh by the way one of the bodies is possessed by a demon and they’ll kill you if you don’t do all this extra stuff I didn’t mention byyyye! Don’t call back, my phone’ll be off because I’m at my support group for people who are absolutely bloody useless.” So now we’ve got another checklist: figure out which body’s possessed, figure out which specific demon is possessing it, do a special thing that unpossesses it and if the demon ever makes you hallucinate a roomful of blood and people you’ve betrayed just try to, you know, humour it.

#ITCH.IO LAST MAN SITTING HOW TO#

The first thing we do in The Mortuary Assistant is learn how to assist a mortician, funnily enough. But there’s more to it than pedestrian keyhunts and reject Slenderman fanart flicking the lights on and off.

Every new room, beeline to the nearest wooden desk and start opening and closing drawers like a savvy customer in a second hand furniture shop looking for ways to haggle a discount.

#ITCH.IO LAST MAN SITTING FREE#

First impressions weren’t great with The Mortuary Assistant when it shows up with the usual generic poorly lit realistic environment and character design straight from the shit that comes free with the modelling software, you’re in an enclosed handful of rooms as a storm rages outside, Halloween store mannequins keep appearing briefly at the windows and by all the damned drinking problems of Stephen King protagonists do you have to open drawers a lot. You could set an indie horror game in every room of the San Francisco Downtown Hyatt and still have enough left over to do Fisherman’s Wharf as well. Browse Steam and itch.io for a while and you’ll soon see there’s no bottom to that well. Indistinct Home Invader, put that stupid thing away – it’s escape the room indie horror games.

#ITCH.IO LAST MAN SITTING FULL#

View Full TranscriptĪnd if there’s one genre where you badly need a unique hook to stand out – a metaphorical hook, Mr. No sooner had I coined the concept of the “post-Dad game,” or game based around simulating a routine workaday task with some extra spice of fantasy or skill challenge to liven it up like a blob of Marmite on wholemeal toast, than someone had the idea to combine it with first person escape the room indie horror games. As was the case with The Mortuary Assistant. At night I plunge an obsidian dagger into the heart of a she-goat and use its blood to inscribe a prayer to Mother Hecate, and in her wisdom I am blessed with the knowledge of how best to draw parallels between everyday objects and sexual organs.” But whatever, here’s one creativity tip for free: if you can’t think of an interesting new idea, just take two proven concepts, force them to live together like two spiders in a jar and wait until they’ve either killed each other or come up with a mutually acceptable chore schedule. I don’t know if people are expecting some kind of trade secret.

#ITCH.IO LAST MAN SITTING PROFESSIONAL#

Transcriptĭon’t you just hate being asked “Where do you get your ideas?” Putting that to a professional creative is like asking a machine operator which specific finger is the best one to press the on button with.

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#ITCH.IO LAST MAN SITTING SIMULATOR#

This week in Zero Punctuation, Yahtzee reviews The Mortuary Assistant.įor more major games Yahtz has reviewed lately, check out Saints Row, Fashion Police Squad, Cult of the Lamb, PowerWash Simulator and Endling, Stray, No Man’s Sky (in 2022), and Elden Ring.